I have always been a little confused about self-injury. If you're seeing it on the internet (I'm looking at you, Tumblr), it tends to go a little something like this:
I'm Enoby I love MCR and Gerard Way, I look liek amy lee (if u don't kno who dat is den get da fuk out) im straight edge but like to smoke and drink. tattos and piercings r da shit omg i haev snaek bites and. I hate everything and love too much. I am ugly I'm a slytherin my friends r awesom no1 loves me. I cut every dai look at my scarz wow (:
gerard way <3 5ever.
Yep. That was probably offensive if you don't know what My Immortal is (Not the Evanescence song). Sorry, ah, not sorry. But if you have never thought about self harming or cutting, and this is what you see on the internet, it's easy to judge people. Similar to depression, you start to wonder if these people just want attention, or why they do it, and what it means to self-injure, or sometimes if that person really does self-harm or if they just found that image on Instagram or something. I could never tell if it was related to suicide or not. I felt like it wasn't, and after today's discussion, I feel way more informed.
It never occurred to me that self- injury could be a physical manifestation of someone's madness. That cutting (or whatever else) is a way to survive, a way to prove that they are alive and not dead. It's a way to let their anger out without hurting others. We discussed that men tend to punch walls, but this way is not a socially acceptable way for a girl to express her anger. Cutting isn't even socially acceptable since girls are supposed to faint at the sight of blood.
Kind of like this.
- OMG I took my sister to the Cincinnati Zoo and the vampire bats literally had a bowl of blood in their pen it was so awesome but my sister didn't like it. She does get nauseous with blood and it's fun to tell her how they give IVs or draw blood or talk about the bat food -
Anyway, yeah, expressing anger. I think cutting (I'm just going to say this as it is easier to type than self- injury) is definitely related to depression. Depression is basically internalized anger. If you can't get that anger out, it stays inside (trust me, I know. Sorry no personal story here). If cutting makes someone feel complete, or like they have control over something, should we really try to "fix" them? Like the Dresden Dolls song. That last verse implies that there is something wrong with society if it causes people to behave this way. They're probably right. Should we fix cutting or fix society?
Isn't it interesting how one of the ways that Cady Heron destroys Regina George was to get rid of her "good physique?" And Regina was super focused on her weight, mostly to fit in to a spring fling dress that she had put on hold in January. The store was called 1, 3, 5 and they only carried sizes 1, 3, and 5. When the dress didn't fit, Regina was offended that she should try Sears. When she found out what Kalteen Bars were, she flipped her shit. She even made a big deal about what food she would eat. She drank cranberry juice cocktail, went on an all carb diet, and tried to lose three pounds. And remember that scene in the beginning where Cady did math for them? Regina would only eat foods with less than 35% calories from fat... but then she got cheese fries.
Weight was a big deal to the Plastics (If Northshore was US Weekly, they would always be on the cover). If they didn't follow the rules of Girl World (Girl World had a LOT of rules), then they were denied the honor of sitting at the cafeteria table with the rest of the Plastics. When Regina gained some weight, she was forced to wear sweat pants on the wrong day of the week (you can only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays). Wearing the sweat pants got her kicked out of the table, and ultimately, kicked out of the Plastics.
I just want you all to know that I can quote Mean Girls so I did not need to look any of that stuff up.
So since we shared personal stories in class, here's mine:
I went to my senior prom in high school. I wasn't dating anyone at the time, so a friend arranged for one of her friends, Mark, to go with me. Then, at the last minute, my best friend at the time Sam decided to go. I like to say that the three of us were the best prom group and that Mark and I were the best dancers.
As is customary in America, we went to dinner before the prom. We decided on Cap City Diner. If you haven't been there, it is REALLY GOOD. So, we get the menu and it was decided that Sam and I were getting huge cheeseburgers. We knew what we liked. When the waitress took our order, she was surprised but she seemed to think it was refreshing that two girls in prom dresses were not having a salad. And of course, when she asked for the dessert menu, we said HELL YES and each had a slice of peanut butter pie and that was amazing.
When I looked around, the other girls did have salads. And no dessert. It really sucks that they probably felt that it was expected of them to eat salad.
So, why did someone decide that women can eat salads while men can have the burgers? Men can eat a lot, but women are not supposed to. And if a guy orders just a salad? Someone would call him a girl. Gosh, I would have died if I lived back when women were expected to make a big show out of refusing meat. I really love a good steak... medium rare, still moo-ing. Whoops I must be a man.
Then there was that part about eating as an erotic activity... I don't understand but it's ok if you're into that sort of thing.
Accurate representation of societal pressure on women.
And then there is the whole thing about being fat is bad, women definitely shouldn't be fat, and society places that pressure on women.
I feel like if society did not pressure women in to thinking that skinny is the only way to be beautiful, eating disorders would be less common.
I think that eating disorders should be classified as a type of female madness. Many of the disorders we talked about in class were caused by women being dissatisfied with their current situation (thanks, patriarchy). While the women who have an eating disorder may not see it as being dissatisfied, I would still say it was something brought on by patriarchy. I have never dealt with an eating disorder though, so I may have that totally wrong. I also think it's a good thing that there are different pro-anna or pro-mia websites out there. It provides support and shows them that they are not alone.
I also don't think you can regulate the internet, but that's a whole other story!
