The Yellow Wallpaper

My interpretation of this short story is that our protagonist is a hysteric who has been recommended the rest cure. She is stuck in a room with some horrid yellow wallpaper with different patterns. She studies the wallpaper because she has nothing else to do and is longing for something intelligent (since she thinks that stimulation could improve her condition). Gradually, she begins to see herself in the wallpaper's patterns. She destroys the room to let out her inner self. She had to destroy her prison before she can have a voice.

I don't feel that we can say that the ending is super liberating since the most likely conclusion is that she ended up in an asylum. It is liberating in a way because she has her voice, but someone will eventually shut it up again.

The in-class discussion made me wonder how society became so invested in patriarchy. Who invented it? Who decided that there would be a such thing as gender roles? If hysteria and it's male counterpart (which I can't spell) are basically the same, why so dramatically different treatments? (Yes I know it's patriarchy but why were they that stupid?) Also, how do people get postpartum depression- I'd think they would be happy that it's out! That's in my notes so it's relevant. I wonder if the list of things that caused men hysteria is a long as a women's.
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Just realized I don't know how to follow other blogs on here :(

And I don't have as many intelligent thoughts as I thought I would. I have a post about Dora sitting in Drafts because I apparently don't have my shit together so let's try again tomorrow :(

Horseback Riding + Hysteria?

I'm going to make several blog posts tonight separated by topic because I finally have my shit together enough that I know what I want to say.

First is something I came up with today.

It was mentioned that one "cure" for hysteria was to have women go horseback riding. When I first learned that, my reaction was basically "what the fuck how does that work?" Did they think the women would get off by riding? I can't comprehend how that would work. I've been a rider for, oh, my whole life. This has NEVER HAPPENED. EVER.

This is the position I imagine someone would have to be in for this to work:

Crotch Riding.

Then I thought I'd Google it, and this website made me cry. I hope they are making all of that up. (I posted it so you can have a laugh while my brain shuts down)

Even if they rode sidesaddle I still can't imagine it producing orgasms. All I'm trying to say is that I don't believe women would have so many orgasms while riding.

Anyway, they must have had some success or they wouldn't have kept using that treatment. I wonder if women simply enjoyed the activity and the temporary freedom they gained while riding. As in, they didn't have an orgasm, but being on a horse is a really great escape from life. The treatment was described as "vigorous"so I can assume that they weren't just sitting there at the walk. Really, what if the women showed signs of improvement because they were out in the fresh air being active? It got them out of the house, so it was basically the opposite of the rest cure.

Of course, we won't ever know either way. They didn't even know that the massages were causing orgasms so how could they know if the horseback riding was giving them orgasms?

Now, here's the real life application that made me think of this idea: As we all know, I broke my ankle a week ago... and I already got back on a horse. The doctor said I could ride in "just a few days short of six weeks." This is a few days right? Anyway, the fact that I can even sit on a horse has done a whole lot for my mood. I was worried I would be out of shape, and I will be since I've just been riding at the walk I will be, but this is so much better than nothing. Life seems better from the back of a horse. Sure I can't do as much but it beats sitting on the couch.

I'm considering researching more about horseback riding and hysteria, but I needed to get this out while I thought of it.

Probably Going Mad

I broke my ankle this Saturday while out fox hunting. Hunting is my big escape from school and "real life" so now we can really see if I go mad. I can't ride for 6 weeks, hooray. How long will it take to develop hysterical symptoms? This is the worst thing ever.

On the positive side (for this class, not for me personally), I will be bored so I can sit down and maybe write some very insightful blog posts.

I actually enjoyed Dora: A Headcase.

When I was in the ER, I told my mom that in some states there are laws against owning too many vibrators, like possession with intent to sell, like drugs. She thought it was hilarious.

Am I Mad?

Alright, sorry Tammy, I will make a thousand posts about madness when I can finally figure out what I want to say. I really like the above Calvin and Hobbes comic because 1) I love Calvin and Hobbes, 2) that's why I didn't blog Saturday, and 3) that's also how I often feel about school, especially when I think about how I am going to have to be a graphic designer and can't ride horses all day.

After class this past Thursday, when we discussed the psyche, I can't shake the feeling that my body is trying to tell me something I don't want to admit: I don't want to have a career as a graphic designer. I like it just fine, and it can be really fun, but other times it isn't. I'm currently going through a HUGE creative block. What if I made a mistake dropping the equine major?

Sometimes, I get very stressed and my whole body starts to feel off... I can't exactly describe it. Tense is part of it but it isn't the right word. This happened a lot at the beginning of the year, and still happens when I think about what I will be doing once I graduate. I get a more mild version of the same feeling when I am forced to go to family gatherings. It usually ends in me throwing a fit when my mom is not ready to go by the time she told me we would go. Like an angry fit, not a whiney one. Is this a type of madness?

Am I mad?